The highly anticipated blockbuster National Championship match-up between Texas and Alabama is finally here. And all the analysts are buzzing, making their prediction. No matter who wins or loses, one thing's for sure: my balls itch.

"These two teams represent epic, historic programs and conferences, and this is the type of match-up that -- hold on a sec, lemme get my nut scratcher," I said, earlier today.

Alabama brings it's high-powered...god dammit...just a second..ok, where was I? Fuck! What the hell? Did somebody put god damn cayenne powder in my underwear?

Anyways, it's sure to be a great boner for both teams, with testicles reaching new heights.