Analysts across sports media are praising Nick Saban today, not only for his quick turnaround in Alabama, but for his amazing coaching ability to injure the opposing QB.

"When I called that play, I told my players, 'OK, run what we've been working on all week, where you hit the QB like normal, but you fuck up his arm.' Then we fucking won. We FUCKING WON." Saban said in a personal phone call to Sporting Hipster, made from his private beach, currently dubbed, "Saban's BJ Heaven."

How would you feel if your company told you that you were getting a huge promotion, had you move to a new city, and promised years of glory in this new role? Pretty good, right? What if that company then said, fuck you, go fuck yourself you little fuckface.

Well, that's exactly what NBC did to Conan O' Brien, the funniest man alive.

Why? Advertising dollars have dropped for the Tonight Show since Conan took over. Of course, this is exactly what happened when Conan took over the Late Show from David Letterman -- but producers stuck with Conan and his genius, and he killed it. Especially in advertisers' golden demographic - males age 18-34. Advertisers aren't paying as much for Conan's Tonight Show these days -- maybe because they're ad sales dept. is still trying to sell to companies that typically target moronic, obese, lazy over 50 conservative losers -- aka Leno's audience.

Conan - go to Fox. Fuck NBC, they are dickless cunts. Literally.

The highly anticipated blockbuster National Championship match-up between Texas and Alabama is finally here. And all the analysts are buzzing, making their prediction. No matter who wins or loses, one thing's for sure: my balls itch.

"These two teams represent epic, historic programs and conferences, and this is the type of match-up that -- hold on a sec, lemme get my nut scratcher," I said, earlier today.

Alabama brings it's high-powered...god dammit...just a second..ok, where was I? Fuck! What the hell? Did somebody put god damn cayenne powder in my underwear?

Anyways, it's sure to be a great boner for both teams, with testicles reaching new heights.

2009 was a great year for sports. Tiger Woods, it turns out, does have a penis, the Yankees are quitting baseball, and Maya Angelou succesfully still did not write one decent fucking poem. Yay for sports!

But only one can take home the illustrious Sports Hipster of the Year award.

Here were 2009's nomineees: