This man has put it far better than I cam.

The Playoff Beard.

Michael Vick Rumors of a Reality Show: Seriously. And I think we all know that we’d watch at least one episode, but honestly, without the dog fighting the ratings will not do well.

Hulk Hogan Takes the High Road: "I didn't do the OJ Simpson thing. I took the high road." The Hulkster literally said that. He’s also quoted in a recent Rolling Stone interview, "I totally understand OJ." Look, divorces get ugly, you’re already banging some random hot chick, why in the hell would you drop OJ’s name? If you weren’t in the professional wrestling business, I’d say this would ruin your career.

NHL Playoffs Begin: I still love hockey, but honestly, it will be hard to care without the Avs in it.

Nuggets Get New Orleans in the First Round: I kind of think Dallas actually would have been a better match-up, but we’ll have to see. If they don’t win this playoff series, think Karl will still be getting “Coach of the Year” chatter, let alone “employed coach”?

Garnett Could Miss the Playoffs: That's it. No repeat. Without Garnett they have no shot at beating the Cavs.

Still working on that post-modernism article...

A quick rundown of the hippest sports stories today.

De La Hoya Retires: De la Hoya announced his retirement, then unretired, the re-retired, then – after a long pause during which Oscar seemingly thought over one last time – he said, “all right, all right, I’m retired.”

Josh Beckett Gets Suspended: for like 6 games or some shite. That’s a bit much, I mean really. When is baseball going to realize that it would be much better off allowing pitchers to simply throw the ball whenever and wherever they like. Now that’s a challenge to a batter.

NFL Schedule is Released: I will see the Broncos schedule when I get one of those little pocket fold-outs from TGI Friday’s.

UConn’s Thabeet Enters Draft: I think we saw that coming from the moment he had Sean Paul sunglasses on inside the stadium during the Final Four.

Isiah Thomas is Named FIU Head Coach: Makes sense, it’s much less embarrassing to sexually harass young men.

That’s all for now. Postmodernism won the poll, I think by nefarious means, but it still won. I’ll reset it and you’ll get another chance to vote. An article on postmodernism forthcoming.

What should my next article be about? Vote in the poll to your right ----------------------->