Pluschenko Apologizes for Haircut

Plushenko failed in his attempt to win back-to-back gold medals last night, but he certainly succeeded at having the most ridiculous haircut on the planet.

 

 

 

“I’m sorry world, I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking,” Plushenko said after the medal ceremony. “I must have really looked like a big fat douche out there. I’ve been really, really drunk for the last 8 years. Fuck! I’m so sorry you guys.”

 

 

Kansas’ Markieff Morris Trying to get “Markieffer Sutherland” Nickname to Stick

Kansas’ Markieff Morris had a great game last night against Texas, and he says it’s all do to his new nickname.

 

“It just pumps me up, you know? I imagine myself saving the word from a nuclear bomb within 24 hours and shit, and next thing you know I’m draining threes all night.”

 

 

 

 

“He watched Flatliners the other night, and he’s been on this Markeiffer thing ever since.” Coach Bill Self said. “That is a great movie, though.” He said, chuckling.

 

His teammates are split on the issue, half of them thinking the bad ass vampire Sutherland character in Lost Boys is appropriate for Markieff’s high flying dunks, while others point out he starred alongside Chris O’Donnel in The Three Musketeers.

 

“It’s a hot, controversial issue that’s sure to steam up the locker room,” Jay Bilas said, rubbing himself.

 

 

 

 

Kansas’ Markieff Morris Trying to get “Markieffer Sutherland” Nickname to Stick

Kansas’ Markieff Morris had a great game last night against Texas, and he says it’s all do to his new nickname.

 

“It just pumps me up, you know? I imagine myself saving the word from a nuclear bomb within 24 hours and shit, and next thing you know I’m draining threes all night.”

 

 

 

 

“He watched Flatliners the other night, and he’s been on this Markeiffer thing ever since.” Coach Bill Self said. “That is a great movie, though.” He said, chuckling.

 

His teammates are split on the issue, half of them thinking the bad ass vampire Sutherland character in Lost Boys is appropriate for Markieff’s high flying dunks, while others point out he starred alongside Chris O’Donnel in The Three Musketeers.

 

“It’s a hot, controversial issue that’s sure to steam up the locker room,” Jay Bilas said, rubbing himself.