Media to Commemorate 10th Anniversary of 9/11 by Reminding You How Fucking Awful it Was As Many Times As Possible

The media confirmed its plans today for the weekend as the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks approaches.

 

“It was one of the worst days in the history of our nation,”  said CBS executive Charles Brownstone.  “And we want to make sure you feel that pain and suffering this weekend as if it was the day it happened.”

 

Sources report that the media as a whole met sometime last month to finalize their plans.  “Let’s skullfuck these people with images of the planes crashing into the buildings, people jumping to their deaths, and hold up pictures of children who died,”  Anderson Cooper was quoted as saying. “This is it people, our finest moment.”

 

The History Channel is planning a 24-hour replay of the worst images,  ala TBS’s annual A Christmas Story marathon. Animal Planet is planning reenactments using puppies and kittens that are up for adoption.  Meanwhile, the Food Network will be doing a special on recipes that use building rubble.

 

“The events of that day are unforgettable, horrific and deeply painful for the entire country,” Tom Brokaw told Sporting Hipster.  “And we want to ensure we remind everyone what that pain and sadness feels like with constant reminders barraging them at every turn.”

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